Let's Never Go Back There, Ya Hear??

     Summer break... what can I say?  It sucks.  My cousins and I have been waiting for the school year to end pretty much since it started so that we can, once again, continue our rather new tradition of living together during the summer.  This summer was supposed to be the best, mostly because it's our last before we'll have jobs and other such obligations that we have to work around, but so far it seems all we've done is travel from house to house inhaling all the food and laying around until time to pack up and move to someone else's house.  I'm almost ready for school to start again, sad huh?
     My family and I recently took a trip to Kentucky to go to a museum in Florence.  Unfortunately, actually I couldn't care less, my first impression of Kentucky was not so great.  Needless to say I missed Tennessee.  Apparently KY recognizes TN's great superiority also.  As the great Dolly Parton once said, "Ya'll Come Back Now Ya Here!"  It is extremely insulting to see a revolutionary-Tennessean- phrase degraded on a sign in Kentucky.  Who would wanna go back there??  Maybe I'm a little biased but everything in Kentucky seemed a little.. suckish.  Not to mention how long it took me to find a giraffe.  Is it really so much to ask that a whole state have one mere giraffe to offer???

The Ale Boy's Feast

     In my opinion, what I've read of this book is very difficult to follow.  Further into the book it may become more understandable and worth reading, but to get there is going to be a bit challenging if you ask me. If you're looking for an easy read this is not the book for you.

     Swimming unexpectedly, fully clothed, is not fun.  At all.  There are very few situations in which that statement would be untrue. (I have experienced one, but that's another story.)  Today, however, is not one of them.  Never in my life have a been so bored that the torrential downpour outside the English classroom window seemed so fascinating.  Our small town in Eastern Tennessee, today, reminds me of a shallow kiddie pool.  That reference alone, a statement I conveyed to my cousin, inspired this blog post.  Other than the deluge that was seemingly confined to our dreary county, though that is certainly not true, today was rather uneventful.

<<- My town, minus the slide (can't have that amount of fun here) and the lush green grass and trees.  Its pretty much all mucky and dead right now.

     After showers of epic boredom poured out on me (see what I did there? With the words and the rain?? Ha... Haha..)  for a good portion of the day, I made my way to McInedible.  This is just something my cousins and I call McDonalds, obviously, though I actually enjoy the fattening, artery clogging foods from said establishment.  The way I justified myself in eating chicken nuggets drenched in barbeque sauce and an apple pie, was the visit to my uncle's gym of sorts, later in the evening.  My uncle has a power lifting team that competes in competitions usually just in the Eastern Tennessee area.  They're the kind of people that if you saw them on the street you might think to yourself, "Wow, he's a big man," and cross the street for fear of an untimely flare of anger.  That is, until you actually talk to them.  It's like a group of teddy bears on anabolic steroids.  Some of the nicest people you will ever meet. :D Amazing.

     Well to finish of for tonight here's Sierra's Word of the Day: Teletubbies, because they're a childhood memory for all Americans, but the cool part is that they have TV's where their stomaches should be... And that's amazing.  She really out did herself witht that one.. :)

Martians, Gummy Worms, and White Boy Tacos Oh My!

     Hello people of earth <<(Earth? Do you capitalize it?) and all who inhabit it.  Seriously?? Who came up with that saying?? Last time I checked the only people on earth are,, um earthlings.  I apologize to any Martians I may have offended if you're out there. Riight.  Anyhoo.. Spring is approaching quickly. Yay!!! That means going outside and playing in the rain :)  A person can never be too old for splashing in the puddles.  Let your inner-child run rampid once more this season!  Do all the worms that seemingly appear from nowhere after a rainshower disturb anyone else?  Bleh.  Speaking of worms I'd like to announce that this post is sponsored by the Word of the Day courtesy of my friend Sierra: Gummy Worms, because she is in need of something sweet.

Aren't you glad worms don't actually look like this? Creeepy...

      I'm sure you've all heard the saying, "You learn something new everyday."  It rings true today.  My discovery: "White Boy Tacos"  These are the only kind of tacos my dad will eat. The definition of White Boy Tacos??  Tacos made by anyone but a Mexican (Hispanic, etc.) not just white boys, with real ground beef. Not like the "meat paste" used in Taco Bell tacos.  I stumbled across this piece of, to say the least, out-there knowledge on the drive home from church, when my little sister aptly insisted on eating at Azteca.  My dad was determined to make the rest of us see the difference in his tacos and tacos made at an authentic Mexican restaurant, claiming his are better. Epic fail. Of course my dad, in all his glistening white glory, is the origin of the name "White Boy Tacos."  However we did eat at Azteca and his stubborn self got to dine on chips and left over baked chicken from last nights dinner when we got home.  He's strange.

     So before I go I have a new blonde story!  I love being related to a family of blondes.  They provied excellent writing material.  I was just informed that my cousin ran over her foot with a vacuum cleaner.  When I asked how that went for her, her first response was that it scared her.  She thought it was going to suck her foot up.  Umm??  Can anybody explain to me how a vacuum cleaner that cant pick up a candy wrapper is supposed to pick up a women's size 10, human foot?  Anyways, she said if felt like, and i quote, "Running over my foot with a wheel, then a tornado."  Ohhh, Abby.  Gotta love her.. :) 

¡Viva Epic Fail!

     Ok, who came up with cleaning anyway?? You clean and you clean and you clean and guess what? There is still more cleaning to do. Nothing is EVER clean! And call me crazy, but I don't think Adam and Eve busied themselves about the Garden of Eden sweeping, because it would never be clean. All they would find is an endless amount of dirt, dirt, and more dirt.  Moms and dads of the world, take a hint from Adam and Eve, and chill out!!  The cleaning will get done eventually, but I promise it will not hurt anything for the dishes to sit in the sink for one more day.

DIRT-->>>

     In other news, I will  never understand the widespread addiction of video games.  I mean isn't it the equivalent of twiddling your thumbs, considering the whole game is moving a joystick and pushing a button with your thumbs???  Oh, but because there is a little person/animal/piñata (viva piñata? seriously?) adhering to every twitch of your hand it is an entertaining way to pass the day, or get fat either way you want to look at it.  Of course I think that really might be why some people like them.  It's the only time in their life anybody has ever done what they wanted.  Hello Mr. Piñata, please jump to the left. Ohh! No to the right. Quick get that coin! Yes, Mr. Piñata, explode! Let your candy rain down!  People, get a life, get a girlfriend (or a boyfriend), get a hobby, do some pushups (let's face it you could probably benefit from a few), but playing video games all day??  Epic fail.

     Before I go, I thought I'd share with you another blonde story offered up by my wonderfully blonde cousin.  I'm assuming they were discussing dinner plans, or farm animals, or maybe this was just a random thought that happened to come to him during one of those amazing discussions our family seems to have only while in the car. Point being he looks to his mom, dad, and sister, earnestly searching for an answer to the question, "Does chicken come from cow or pig?"

One of Those Days

     Do you ever wake up and the second your feet hit the floor you think to yourself, "Today is gonna be one of those days."?  Here in good old East Tennessee today was one of those days.  I got up after another night of not getting enough sleep to lay around my friend's house staring out her bedroom window at the snowy abyss that is the hell hole I live in.  Yet another week that we've laid outta school, yet another day we'll have to make up during what could be our break or our Saturday off. Don't get me wrong I love school, the work may not be so great, but seeing my friends is a good way to spend eight ours a day if you ask me. However, after a month and a half of sitting at home all day everyday doing nothing I find myself thinking, "I thought this was the reason I switched back to public school?"  After a whopping two apple strudel poptarts and piece of cheese for breakfast/lunch my friend and I journeyed back to my house in hopes of internet not disabled by the weather, or other means of entertainment.  People of the blogging universe, we were severely disappointed.

    We walked in the door to be greeted by the smell of old waffles and turkey. Mouth watering, huh? Not so much.  For Christmas my parents got me a new bed, because the one I had was broken and looked like it would buckle at any second, so we were given the task of cleaning, and sweeping my room before dismantling my broken down bed and carrying it into the hallway. Not exactly our idea of a fun time.  Once we got it done, though it took several more hours than it should have, we began carrying the many pieces of my new bed up the stairs. For that we deserve a standing ovation. The two Graces made it up the stairs with every piece of the bed and themselves in tact. Thank you, thank you. We gathered our supplies, took out the instructions, and thought that the construction of an easy-to-assemble bed would be simple for two bright teenage girls. My parents were apt to inform us that we were wrong.  Following their arrival many quarrels, that, at the time, seemed more like battles, took place. The typical "I know what I'm doing and you don't." type of macho attitude. (*cough cough* my dad)  Two hours later the bed is put together and I'm too worked up to sleep in it.  Ahhh, it sure has been one of those days.

Red, White, and Blonde

   A few weeks ago my friend and I were sitting at a gas station waiting for my mom to get gas. Shortly after announcing that she loves the smell of gas my friend turns to me and asks, "How do they get the chicken out of the egg before they sell it to you?" This question made me wonder how often she visits the gas station for fun. (As suggested by the title my friend is blonde.) Even my ten year old sister saw the hilarity of the question. Once you make it to the third grade shouldn't chickens and eggs be common sense?

   I know it seems like I'm picking on blondes but here's one instance that the blonde outsmarted all the rest:  A few years ago my cousins were over for dinner. My mom had made chicken, potatoes, corn, and green beans. Out of the four kids none of us had any green beans on our plate. My mom, noticing this, says, "If you all try one green bean I'll give you each a dollar." Reluctantly we all take the one green bean and, as quickly as we could, chew and swallow it. After she has distributed the four dollar bills, my four or five year old (blonde) cousin stands up and says, "I already liked green beans, Aunt Angie, but thanks for the dollar!"

    To all the blondes out there, thank you for making life a little more interesting!